After last night, I could never be a politician.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
