Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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