Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
