there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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