Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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