He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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