If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Someone came in the potted fern
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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