grandma shit on top of the toilet
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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