Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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