her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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