i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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