I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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