i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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