A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
