I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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