you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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