Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
