I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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