I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
