So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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