Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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