You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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