She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
two words: eviction party
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
