I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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