I got chris browned last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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