I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
