omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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