you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
