Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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