She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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