he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
