We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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