My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
