none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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