At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize