What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
your like the ambassador to my penis.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
