I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
third nipple confirmed
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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