it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
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Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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