You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
