I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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