I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
