people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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