My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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