u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
