Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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