if you like me you must not know who I am
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize