is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
