I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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