I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
