I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
