so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
