So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
