Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
