Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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