in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
