...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
