I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
