your parents love me but you hate me
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
