I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize