can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
