Cold hands, warm shart.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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