i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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