it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
