I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You smell like stripper and shame
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
