Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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