dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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