So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
