I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
