it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
