Are we in a gay sports bar?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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