I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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